The Romantic Comedy Crisis

In a world… that’s so vast and so complex, it’s bonkers to attribute our problems to any one thing in particular. But, there is one huge problem that no one seems to be talking about: the romantic comedy crisis. This is the fact that not enough people, especially among today’s youth, are watching romantic comedy movies. What’s even more terrifying is when people tell me that they don’t enjoy “Rom-Coms” as a genre. This is — I truly believe — a major contributor to so many of our inter-personal problems.

More than any other genre, Rom-Coms teach us how to be as a people. They introduce us to new ideas; they help us to reflect, evolve, and laugh at ourselves; and, through the power of humor, they open us up to the notion of change and make us more receptive to perspectives that we don’t normally hold.

Rom-Coms show us the bliss of young love; the heartache of loss; the shame of poor judgement; the need for humility; and, the power of sacrifice and heroics. They introduce us to new cultures and life-styles. They illustrate the joys and absurdity and playfulness of sexuality. And, perhaps more importantly, they lay the groundwork for healthy communication and the expression of emotion.

People talk about the “crisis” facing our young men because they have no role models? Here—here are your role models. From Heath Ledger sacrificing himself on the altar of dignity in 10 Things I Hate About You to Billy Crystal proclaiming that he wants the rest of his life to start as soon as possible in When Harry Met Sally to John Cuasck serenading with Peter Gabriel in Say Anything to Patrick Swayze refusing to put baby in the corner in Dirty Dancing to John Hannah reciting Funeral Blues in Four Weddings And A Funeral to Adam Sandler confessing his love in The Wedding Singer to Robin Williams celebrating the humanity of both life and death in Patch Adams. Rom-Coms provide an intensely rich tapestry of male aspirational figures.

And it’s not as if these are all idealized people — this isn’t “movie magic”. The characters in Rom-Coms are almost always deeply flawed in some way. And, the arch of the story is the arch of evolution, of metamorphosis, of personal growth. Rom-Coms teach us not only about the people we are but about the people we can become if we learn to love and trust a little more and hate and fear a little less.

Unfortunately, movie studios aren’t as keen to make Rom-Coms as they once were. Because of this crisis, the return on investment isn’t guaranteed. This is why there’s been 289 movies about the Marvel universe released in the last year and, I don’t know, a handful of Rom-Coms. And with the addiction that kids have to their phones, I fear this crisis will only get worse.

So I implore you: watch Rom-Coms. Force your kids to watch Rom-Coms. Go to the theater to see Rom-Coms on the big screen. This is an investment in yourself and in our future as a people.

Don’t get me wrong — I grew up with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Sylvester Stallone. I like to bust heads and blow shit up as much as the next red-blooded American male. But those movies are entertainment. Rom-Coms are education. If I had to make the Sophie’s choice between Arnold killing buzz-saw in The Running Man and Arnold dancing with Danny DeVito in Twins, I’m choosing Twins every time. Because, as much as action movies are a wonderful distraction from life, Rom-Coms are a representation of the life I hope to lead.

I’m not a parent (of humans); but, I was a kid who grew up with these movies. And I just wanted to speak clearly for a moment. I have no doubt that some of you out there are afraid to show these movies to your kids; possibly because they contain references to something you don’t agree with. But you can break that cycle of fear. Rom-Coms are here to help us grow and feel and be better. And when you prevent growth from happening, you’re not sheltering your child, you’re depriving your child.

That might be a hard truth to hear. But, that’s a big part of what makes Rom-Coms so transformative: the hard truths that characters contend with; and, the ways in which they are forced to evolve as a result.